Adoption Decree

Today we got the Decree Validating Foreign Adoption for our daughter at the local courthouse. We were first on the docket. When the judge entered the courtroom he asked if the family for the adoption case was here, and I put my hand up and said that we were. Then I was shocked when he asked everybody to leave the courtroom except the family adopting the child! I felt a bit embarrassed, because it seemed like such a big deal that all these other people, whose issues certainly aren't trivial, had to leave the courtroom. I felt uncomfortable as people filed past because we are not special. He mentioned that it was a closed hearing and waited until everyone had left the room before continuing.

The judge carried out the questioning that would lead to the approval of our petition to adopt.

Then the judge said a lot of nice things to us about how we were doing such a good thing. He was really nice and was knowledgeable about the situation in China and talked about it. He felt that we had really saved this child from a horrible future as a female orphan in China. He understood that in China the female is a second class citizen, or less, and that she would have had few opportunities if she had stayed in China. He also talked about how the one-child rule in China exacerbated the situation for female children. I was surprised, and impressed that he knew this much about these issues in China.

The judge commended us for "stepping up" and doing our part in contributing to the general welfare. I was thinking how lucky we feel that we adopted her, and how much our lives have been enriched by the experience. He congratulated us for being so lucky as to have adopted such a sweet, beautiful daughter. And my wife and I think we are the lucky ones. We all win in this situation and that's really remarkable. There are so many difficulties in the world right now (war and ignorant hatred, high gas prices (and exorbitant gas company profits), housing foreclosures, religious extremism and intolerance, shaky stock markets, et cetera) that it can be a little overwhelming, yet in this small family, in this modest house, there is so much happiness right now that it just amazes me. I can’t think of anything else we need, and that must be the definition of fulfillment.

I thanked the judge for his kind words and for making time in his busy courtroom to give us his undivided attention. He responded that this was the most important hearing on his docket. That really got my attention; I knew he meant it sincerely. For us it seems like such a small thing to do, and is even self-serving in some ways, and yet it really is incredibly important that we gave this one child a chance to have a full life, with all of the potential accomplishments to go with it.

I have been looking forward to this day for a long time, thinking that this would be an unemotional perfunctory exercise. I thought we would just go through the motions to get this last final piece of paperwork completed. I was wrong. This turned out to be a very important day, and for me, it was a day with a very powerful emotional impact. I have to thank the judge for opening my eyes to the significance of what we've done, and for the awareness of what we've become; a happy family.

This completes the adoption paperwork, and the knowledge that all of the tasks have been completed and that all of the details have been taken care of is very fulfilling. I am filled with a sense of calm that I haven’t felt since we started the adoption process. I have a sense of closure.

I'm extremely grateful for our good fortune. We are all so happy together as a family and I just want to share that with the rest of the world.

I hope that other people who read this blog, and other blogs that document similar experiences, will pursue adoption because the reward is absolutely incomparable to anything I've ever experienced.

The one year anniversary of our Gotcha Day (April 26th) is coming up soon. The time has gone by very quickly and Shuya has grown fast, and learned a lot of things. We are astonished and amazed by her ability to learn, and proud of what she’s accomplished. We've all grown together as a family, and developed very strong bonds, which is thoroughly gratifying. The time we spend together is precious, and tremendously rewarding.

We are very fortunate, we know it and we appreciate it, and we are very grateful for this experience. And we are thankful for the many good friends we've made who are sharing this experience with us, especially our Chinese Children support group! Aren't we all so lucky?

Shuya's Birthday!

Saturday was Shuya's 2nd birthday. She woke up to presents and banners and balloons! I sang happy birthday to her several times during the day. Her favorite present was Tickle me Elmo. She loves Elmo. In the evening we went to our friends house to celebrate the 2 couples matches. We will have 2 new children in our group by the end of the year! We put candles in a cheesecake and we all sang happy birthday to Shuya. She just loved it! She loves to be the center of attention. Sunday was a free day at the zoo so we got there early and spent a couple of hours showing her all the animals. She didn't like the snakes! But the Tiger and polar bear held her attention for a while. She got bored after just a couple hours. We'll go back often when she's older. I'm sure she will enjoy it even more when she gets a little older. Of course my wife posted pictures!

Our story continues...

I have been negligent in attending to our blog while my wife has been diligent in keeping our latest pictures of Shuya posted on Flickr.

There is so much to write about that I don't know where to begin.

Two of our friends just got their matches! We are so excited for them! They will be so happy! We know because our daughter has made us happier than we ever could have imagined. This is such an exciting time for them! So much to look forward to. So many issues to worry about. What to pack for their daughter. We know that CCAI was impeccable and that they will not have any problems. We know that they will have a wonderful adventure with the greatest reward still waiting for them. And we know how difficult it is to wait for the trip and the "Gotcha" day! And yet it will seem like it happened in a blink of the eye when they hold their precious daughters for the first time. We can't wait to welcome Li Li and Yu Yu home.

My wife's parents left on September 30th. We had a wonderful 5 months. Mama cooked real Chinese food and I loved it. I ate everything (except for one dish). It was all so good! I gained almost 20 pounds since we went to get Shuya. I started to lose some after Mama left!

Shuya is great! She is starting to whine because she knows we will drop what we are doing and run to her side if she is in need, but now she is starting to take advantage. We need to work on this. We also need to work on getting her into her own bed. Right now we let her go to sleep with us and then we transfer her to her crib when she falls asleep. If she cries in the night I'll get up and rub her back and let her know we're there. But sometimes, often, she gets up - stands up in her crib. Then we put her in the bed with us and she usually stays until morning. She has her own bed in her own room and we are trying to get her used to being in that room and on the bed by playing with her and reading to her in her room. We will try to transition her soon.

Shuya loves music. She likes to play the piano and the drums. She likes to dance and sing! Her 2 year birthday is this weekend.

We took a 1 week trip back East. Five flights in eight days. First to Chicago where we drove to Berrien Springs and dedicated Shuya in a ceremony at the Seventh Day Adventist Church. Then to Albany, NY to introduce Shuya to most of my family. Then to Fairfax Virginia to meet my sister Julie and her family, and my sister Marcia. My sister Julie's son James is almost the same age as Shuya and they followed each other around and played together for hours! It was very cute! While we were in Virginia we drove to Williamsburg to meet the family of the other child from our group that was adopted from the same orphanage. We had a wonderful time. Far too short but very memorable. It was a wonderful trip. October is the best month in the year to be in the northeast.

Daycare!

Shuya started daycare last week. We didn’t want to wait too long to get her into daycare because we were afraid it would be much harder if she got used to being home with Weigong and Weipo (grandpa and grandma on the mother’s side) and then started daycare 6 months later.

Wenguo brought her in to class 2 weeks ago so she could meet the teacher and kids. Shuya loved it! Wenguo stayed with her for a couple of hours and then brought her home. Last Monday Wenguo tried to drop her off and go to work – Shuya cried and seemed to think that we were abandoning her and it made Wenguo cry - she couldn’t leave her and stayed with her for a couple of hours, but each time she tried to leave Shuya would cry. At noon when the kids went outside to play Wenguo went home for lunch and came right back. The teacher said Shuya cried the whole time. Wenguo took her home.

Wenguo tried to bring Shuya back 3 other days during the week and would stay with her for a couple hours each day, always trying to leave and not able to because Shuya would start crying again. On Friday she left her there and went to work and I picked her up at 11:30. The teacher said she just cried for about 5 minutes after Wenguo left and then she was fine for the rest of the morning. Her daily report card showed that she was happy and played with the other kids.

Wenguo tried to drop Shuya off yesterday but Shuya cried again and Wenguo had to go to work so she brought her home and went to work. She will try again today.

We are so concerned that she might think that we are abandoning her that we are trying very hard to be careful so that she doesn’t get scared. We are so lucky that Wenguo and I have flexible work environments and that her parents are here to take care of Shuya when we need it. Wenguo’s parents are really helping her learn. Waigong(Grandpa) taught her how to go up and down the stairs holding on to the handrail and spindles and Waipo(Grandma) is already trying to potty train her.

This weekend when the temperature was around 100 degrees I took her to the pool each morning and we played for an hour or so in the water. She had a float and I had a float but she seemed to prefer having me hold her and swim around with her. She loved it! I can’t wait to get her swimming!

-posted by Dan

Rocky Mountain National Park

We went to Rocky Mountain National Park last weekend and had a picnic at the Bear Lake Trail head. I posted some photos from the picnic area lower down in the valley. Shuya got to see Moose and Coyotes and the beautiful mountains. Mama and Baba seemed to enjoy it - Mama took lots of photos!

Shuya is doing well. She has adjusted well and Wenguo, grandma, and grandpa are doing a great job with her. Wenguo took out "Love and Logic" for me from the library. It seems to make sense so we will try using the techniques and see how it goes. She's a smart girl so I am sure she will learn the rules and limits quickly.

I hate to leave in the morning to go to work - when I say goodbye she cries. But I love to come home in the evening and see her big smile! She runs over to me with her arms outstreched and that is absolutely priceless!

-posted by Dan

Photos!

Wenguo posted a bunch of photos yesterday going back to the trip to the Shanghai zoo!

-posted by Dan

Memorial Day Weekend

I can't believe it's taken this long for me to write a few lines! We've been busy, of course. Shuya is adjusting very well - and so are we! She is a wonderful child. Sometimes she's a little crabby - like tonight when I took her for a walk in the stroller and she decided that she wasn't comfortable and just started making a loud fuss! I was hoping that she wasn't attracting too much attention. We stopped at the swing set - she loves the swing!

We took mama and baba to the Garden of the Gods yesterday. They loved it (see the photo!). Today we went to the art show in Denver on the 16th Street mall at the Pavilions. It was ok. Not as good as the Cherry Creek Arts Festival but there were some very nice art there. It runs tomorrow from 11AM to 4PM. Last weekend we brought mama and baba to the Flatirons at Chatauqua Park. It was a beautiful day and mama took a lot of pictures of the incredibly beautiful flowers.

We have introduced them to Wahoo's, Chipotle, and Pho Duy Vietnamese Noodles in Broomfield. They didn't like the first two but they did like the noodle soup!

I installed an IPTV system so that mama and baba can watch Chinese TV and movies on our TV though our internet connection. I was surprised at how well it works! It's great. We have DSL and our connection seems to slow down or stop for no apparent reason but the IPTV works without any glitches. They can choose from a lot of channels, including channels that they usually watch in China, as well as some that were not available to them in China. It's only hooked to the TV in the loft upstairs but that seems to be the best place for it.

Shuya is still adorable. It's hard to spend a lot of time playing with her and still do the things we need to do - like work. I had to go right back to work as soon as I got back home. I had to go into work to write reports for customers and ship equipment to a tradeshow. Talk about waiting to the last minute! Then I had to go to Las Vegas the next week for 4 days for the trade show. It is always stressful setting up the booth and making the equipment run as it should. No different this time, although most things went pretty smoothly, it's always a time-crunch. I had some fun in the evenings and won about $2o (net) playing $10 hands of Pai Gow. I never played it before and it's pretty slow - just my speed! I must have had beginner's luck. I wasn't ready to play an faster games. I had Friday off so I get to spend 4 days with her! So far it's been a lot of fun!

Wenguo has gotten Shuya into a routine and that seems to be helping a lot. Nap time in the morning and after lunch, in bed on time and up in the morning with us. She complains a little (loudly) for a while when we try to put her down for a nap sometimes but it doesn't last very long any more. The first week we had some issues with her crying for a long time when we tried to get her to go to bed.

Shuya and Little Bear are getting along well. They are just starting to get close to each other and Shuya occasionally pets Little Bear or throws one of her toys for her (it usually travels about 1 foot!). I think they are going to be fine but we are still watching them. Little Bear has proven to be very tolerant so far! I'm very proud of her. She is such a sweet dog.

I can't keep up with the photos - I know I need to post some and I promise to try to find some time tomorrow. I found a HP Photo printer/scanner/copier at Target that was marked down from $100 to $25. They still have some left at the store on 144th at I-25 (Westminster SuperTarget, 14451 Orchard Pkwy, Westminster, CO 80020 (303) 209-0163). The installer was the worst I've ever encountered. Of course they loaded up my computer with a lot of their software.

I'll try to post more often with more focus on our life with Shuya, and more pictures soon!

-posted by Dan