Adoption Decree

Today we got the Decree Validating Foreign Adoption for our daughter at the local courthouse. We were first on the docket. When the judge entered the courtroom he asked if the family for the adoption case was here, and I put my hand up and said that we were. Then I was shocked when he asked everybody to leave the courtroom except the family adopting the child! I felt a bit embarrassed, because it seemed like such a big deal that all these other people, whose issues certainly aren't trivial, had to leave the courtroom. I felt uncomfortable as people filed past because we are not special. He mentioned that it was a closed hearing and waited until everyone had left the room before continuing.

The judge carried out the questioning that would lead to the approval of our petition to adopt.

Then the judge said a lot of nice things to us about how we were doing such a good thing. He was really nice and was knowledgeable about the situation in China and talked about it. He felt that we had really saved this child from a horrible future as a female orphan in China. He understood that in China the female is a second class citizen, or less, and that she would have had few opportunities if she had stayed in China. He also talked about how the one-child rule in China exacerbated the situation for female children. I was surprised, and impressed that he knew this much about these issues in China.

The judge commended us for "stepping up" and doing our part in contributing to the general welfare. I was thinking how lucky we feel that we adopted her, and how much our lives have been enriched by the experience. He congratulated us for being so lucky as to have adopted such a sweet, beautiful daughter. And my wife and I think we are the lucky ones. We all win in this situation and that's really remarkable. There are so many difficulties in the world right now (war and ignorant hatred, high gas prices (and exorbitant gas company profits), housing foreclosures, religious extremism and intolerance, shaky stock markets, et cetera) that it can be a little overwhelming, yet in this small family, in this modest house, there is so much happiness right now that it just amazes me. I can’t think of anything else we need, and that must be the definition of fulfillment.

I thanked the judge for his kind words and for making time in his busy courtroom to give us his undivided attention. He responded that this was the most important hearing on his docket. That really got my attention; I knew he meant it sincerely. For us it seems like such a small thing to do, and is even self-serving in some ways, and yet it really is incredibly important that we gave this one child a chance to have a full life, with all of the potential accomplishments to go with it.

I have been looking forward to this day for a long time, thinking that this would be an unemotional perfunctory exercise. I thought we would just go through the motions to get this last final piece of paperwork completed. I was wrong. This turned out to be a very important day, and for me, it was a day with a very powerful emotional impact. I have to thank the judge for opening my eyes to the significance of what we've done, and for the awareness of what we've become; a happy family.

This completes the adoption paperwork, and the knowledge that all of the tasks have been completed and that all of the details have been taken care of is very fulfilling. I am filled with a sense of calm that I haven’t felt since we started the adoption process. I have a sense of closure.

I'm extremely grateful for our good fortune. We are all so happy together as a family and I just want to share that with the rest of the world.

I hope that other people who read this blog, and other blogs that document similar experiences, will pursue adoption because the reward is absolutely incomparable to anything I've ever experienced.

The one year anniversary of our Gotcha Day (April 26th) is coming up soon. The time has gone by very quickly and Shuya has grown fast, and learned a lot of things. We are astonished and amazed by her ability to learn, and proud of what she’s accomplished. We've all grown together as a family, and developed very strong bonds, which is thoroughly gratifying. The time we spend together is precious, and tremendously rewarding.

We are very fortunate, we know it and we appreciate it, and we are very grateful for this experience. And we are thankful for the many good friends we've made who are sharing this experience with us, especially our Chinese Children support group! Aren't we all so lucky?